


You've Been Crying All Of This Time, Haven't You?

by reisuzuya



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul; re
Genre: Dorks, Fluff, I'll probably update frequently, M/M, Secks happens, Very quick chapters, cuteness, im trash, tsukiyama getting jelly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-15 14:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4610949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reisuzuya/pseuds/reisuzuya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukiyama hasn't seen Kaneki in years and he starts to lose hope that the boy he's in love with, the only person that could ever make him truly happy is gone. But, one day Kanae comes to him with news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Idk I just really feel like Kanae would jam out to Lykke Li??

    A rare feeling of excitement and warmth suddenly flowed throughout my entire body, trickling down my chest, spreading to my limbs, burning my feet and hands like fire.

_No._

_It can't be._

_I'm dreaming._

_I don't want to believe it._

_I hate it, I hate it, I hate it._

My mind started to race again.

_I can't stand it, he isn't here, I won't be able to take the feeling again, I can't handle the feeling, won't be able to handle the feeling..._

I opened my eyes.

_Of disappointment._

    What I opened my eyes to, of course... Wasn't him. I didn't have to look around whatsoever to know where I was and what was in the room I woke up in. To the right, giant curtains of many different patterns and colors blowing around from the wind outside. Then my wardrobe, and a desk. Then my bed which I layed in alone, and a window.

_How long have I stayed in this room? It's going on a year, isn't it?_

    I sighed. I could hear Kanae singing along to Lykke Li in the kitchen. A silly grin spread across my face as I remembered that last time Kanae sang to Lykke Li in the kitchen while cooking breakfast, he seemed to have gotten carried away with his dancing and accidentally flipped a pancake right onto his face because of his dramatic arm motions. I laughed a little too loudly, causing Kanae to realize I was awake.

    "Shuu!!!" Kanae called from the room next to mine. I said nothing, waiting until he arrives. Once he does, he has the stupidest grin on his face and his eyes look like they might bulge out of their sockets. "Was that _your_ laughing that I heard?!" He asked in shock. I tilted my head and smile at him, looking into his eyes.

    "Ah, I was only remembering the last time you jammed a little too hard to Lykke while cooking." He frowns slightly, a rosy pink blush spread across his cheeks.

    "In my defense, it would be a sin to _not_ jam a little too hard to I Follow Rivers." A giggle escaped my lips, and I regret it as soon as it happens, because the stupid look on his face was back again, only five times worse than before. He turned around to fetch the pancakes he prepared for me, his purply a-symmetrical hair glimmering in the sunlight coming from the window. He grabbed both sides of the plate, and propped it down on my lap. I took the fork and began eating, the grin still not leaving his face.

    "What's with the bête look on your face, Kanae?" I ask, biting into a piece of flesh that was in the pancake he created with some of our ingredients.

    "Ah," he started. "Well, you look happier today and overall just better...and...I also..." He suddenly looked nervous, staring at me for a few moments. He looked down, shoving his hand to his left pocket, and finally pulled out an envelope labeled with the number "1" on it. He looked away from me, setting it on my lap next to my breakfast. What's in it that could possibly make Kanae so nervous? I wondered. I reached down for the envelope, pulling the string from over the button and pulled out... A picture? My heart fluttered almost as fast as it did back then as I see a flash of black and white hair. I examined the picture closely, and I know it's the beautiful boy I'm in love with.

_It's Kaneki._


	2. Things happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukiyama reminisces on meeting Kaneki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroneki gives Tsukiyama the doki-dokis

    I, personally, dislike the fall. Everything dies, falls and fades away gradually throughout the season. But the day I met Kaneki, the grass seemed just a little bit greener, the trees seemed to somehow have more leaves hanging from the branches, and the day was warm. It was a perfect Indian summer that day.

•

    Weeks before, when Kimishiro Rize had first disappeared, I had heard many other ghouls talking about a new supposedly 'half ghoul' in the ward. Of course I was just as curious as the others were, so I decided to ask Chie if she knew anything about the half ghoul. Had I just been curious about what an ingredient such as a half ghoul would taste like? Or, had I perhaps actually really wanted to make a friend with whom I could talk to in a quiet place? "Little mouse," I began. "There's a lot of talk about a... Half ghoul. Half kakuhou, is it?" I looked up at Chie, a blank stare displayed on her face.

    "Have you heard anything about them?" I continued.

    "...Yes," she began. "And?"

    "I'm interested. Rize disappeared at the same time this half ghoul appears...Don't you find that odd?" Chie threw her head back and laughed.

    "That's not the real reason you're asking me about him, is it?" She questioned, looked directly into my eyes. "I mean, yeah it's weird that she disappeared at the same time as he half ghoul came to be, but we all have our theories. "But, you? I know you and you just want to get him for some ingredients, don't you?"

    "Well, I do think the taste of a half ghoul would be..." I put my right hand over my chest and tilted my head to the sky. "Très bien! Imagine such a taste! The sweet flesh of a human mixed with the salty, smooth consistency of a Kakuhou!" Chie smiled.

    "Tsukiyama-san, do you even know what a Kakuhou tastes like?"

    "No, but hopefully I will soon!" I say as I happily throw a purple blazer over my shoulder, preparing myself to go see the half ghoul. "So will you take me to him?"

    "Why do you think that I know where he is?" She asked, tilting her head. I raised an eyebrow.

    "You're Chie, of course you know!" I grin.

    "Ah... Well, what's in it for me?"

    "Hmm..." I tapped my chin. "Not being eaten?" I laughed, taking a step forward to lunge at her. I swing her around, pulling her shirt collar down. "Om nom nom," I mimic eating noises. "Chie-chan, you taste so nice!"

    "AHH!" She squealed while bursting out giggles. "Fine! I'll tell you, I'll tell you!!!" She screamed. I set her down on the floor, and knelt down in front of her. "Alright then," she said breathily "I'm not sure if it's open or if he's working right now, but he does work at Anteiku. I know that much."

    "Ah! Anteiku? That's not far from here!" I said, nearly shouting out of excitement and turned to face our golden-yellow door, making my way towards it. "I'll be back later, Chie!" I call after her.

•

    I remember being incredibly happy as I turned to the right, facing the street that Anteiku was on. It was almost as if I was subconsciously aware that my life would change for the better that day. I walked down the street, farther and farther as I hummed a happy song that Kanae was singing along to earlier that day- Carried Away by Passion Pit, I think? Usually I'm not fond of his taste in music, but the beat to the song definitely fit the mood for that day.

    I find myself almost skipping down the street that Anteiku resided on. I lay gentle gazes on the stores that I pass- a Sweet Lolita boutique, a quaint corner store, and a manga store right next to Anteiku. Before I even completely pass the manga store and before I can register what's happening, I see _him_ through the glass windows.

    I see him and everything else goes blurry. I can only focus on the black haired boy with perfect snow white skin, a narrow nose, two rosy cheeks, an eyepatch over his right eye, and the uncovered eye was the most mysterious, beautiful shade of redish grey. My heart fluttered and beat so fast and loud that for a moment I was afraid that the half ghoul could hear me through the window glass.

_Ah, how strange. I'm acting like a middle school girl..._

 

 

I took a quick breath, watching him talk to a co-worker with purple hair a shade or two darker and less bluish than mine. I roll my eyes. I recognize the co-worker as Touka Kirishima who I was, needless to say, not a fan of. He smiles at her, revealing perfect, pearly, straight ( Which I had decided in the last minute I no longer was) teeth. I decided its about time to go in and meet the boy who's looks alone nearly gave me a boner.

•

    If I thought his looks were angelic, the smell I experienced as soon as I opened the cafe's door would be the first thing you would smell at the gates of heaven. "Hmm..." I breath. "What a nice smell." I look around the cafe, noticing the lack of customers. The beautiful boy looked up at me.  

    "Welcome to the shop!" he exclaimed. I could feel my face getting hot. Could I be...Blushing?  

    "The hell are you here for?" Kirishima-san mumbled while sweeping the floor. I take a few steps closer to half ghoul until I was within arms length of him.

    "What if I just wanted to randomly pay a visit to Antieku?" I let out a laugh as I see her scowl. I put my hand on the half ghouls shoulder and look into his eyes. Ah! his beautiful, dolcé eyes! His smell! I was barely able to handle it! "What's your name?!" I blurt out into his ear.

 _Stay cool, be cool,_ I tell myself.

    "Oh! Ah... I'm Kaneki. Kaneki Ken." I grin widely at both his name and his wonderful, angelic voice. Kaneki. What a beautiful name. I saw that he was blushing as well. Could it be...? Had I made his heart sing as well? My hand drifted towards my pocket as I pulled out a notepad and pen. I scribbled down my number next to a heart and hand it to him.

    "Here, Kaneki-kun. Would you call me? I would love to go out sometime." He blushes furiously. Before I head for the door, I turn around and add a flirtatious wink. I then get to the door, clutch the doorknob and shut it behind me, walking a few feet away so they couldn't see me but I could make out what they were saying.

    "G-Go out? Is that what he said? Like, on a date? Is he... You know...?" I could hear Kaneki say nervously. Touka laughed.

    "Gay? I always kinda thought so, I mean... Look at how he dresses." I could hear Nishiki chime in from the kitchen. I could almost hear myself roll my eyes.

    "Baka-Nishiki, men can dress however they want," Touka mumbled.

    "Touka-san, what do I tell him? I mean... I don't want to be rude. And he didn't look _bad_...And he was nice too." I heard Kaneki contemplate through the door. My heart started beating again like it had earlier. Kaneki just said I didn't look bad. Could he maybe think I'm attractive? Could he start to like me once he knew me? I was so confused. Did I really just want him only for an ingredient? I smiled as I walked away from Antieku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah these next few chapters are gonna be everything Kaneki and Tsukiyama have went through and then we'll go back to the present hmu


	3. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hhhhh a less serious chapter I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things escalate and Tsukiyama gets jealous over a dead guy

    "I met him yesterday," I told Chie the next morning. She raised an eyebrow.

    "And?" She wondered.

    "And, well..." I feel heat again on my cheeks as I realize that they are probably once again dusted in light pink. "You won't take me seriously, I'm really confused, I just don't know what's happening, and..." I trailed off with an odd feeling, a tremolo suddenly bubbling in my chest. After all I had been through in my odd life, after all of the people I killed, nobody made me feel this strangely as the half ghoul. Hori looked at me with surprisingly sad eyes.

    "Shuu-san, why are you crying?" She asked in a low voice. I made a noise of surprise as I put a hand to my surprisingly wet and warm cheek.

    "Huh?! Oh, uh... I don't exactly know, Little Mouse. Ah, this is very confusing and...difficult."

    "Oh, well, what were you going to tell me?" She asked as she shifted towards the counter.

    "Well, I... When I met Kaneki, which is the name of the half ghoul, something...Special happened. I felt hot and my heart kept beating and I kept blushing and-"

    "Then you love him," Hori told me simply. "Did you ask him out?" I stare at her, my mouth agape. "What?" She questioned. "You say that I'm in love so easily, yet he's only an ingredient. And, also, he's a man."

    "Gender doesn't matter," she hummed while tapping her fingers on the counter. I smiled.

    "That's right," I told Chie as I wrapped my arms around her. "But, yes, I did ask him out. I asked him out and then I left, but I waited outside so I could still hear the conversation going on inside. He told Kirishima Touka that I'm cute... Well, he didn't say cute, but he said I'm not _bad_ looking," I spoke quickly and excitedly. "Although, he _must_ think I'm cute. I mean, today was a perfect hair day!" I said, twirling my pointer finger through my hair and smiled as Chie laughed.

    "Where'd you ask him out to?" She asked. "Where? Oh, I just asked him to call me."

    "What if he doesn't call you?" She asked.

    "Then I'll simply call him! Or...maybe I didn't make a good impression on him and he won't even... Pick up if I call him." My eyes widen. I must have made a bad impression on him! I barged right into Anteiku, asked him out, and left, after all! I put my palm on my forehead. "Little Mouse, I must have left _such_ a bad first impression! Do you think I can do anything to redeem myself? Do you think I should go back to Anteiku now? I think I'll just go and apologize right-"

   "Why don't you just go visit him at Kamii?" She asks.

    "Kamii University? Why would-"

    "That's where Kaneki goes to school." Chie told me a-matter-of-factly. "How do you know all of this?!" I ask in udder shock.

    "Like you said," Chie back away from the counter. "I'm Chie! I know everything that's happening in the 20th ward," Chie laughed as she twirled around as the skirt she was wearing glittered.

•

    I see Kaneki sitting alone on a bench under a leafy tree. I feel the same expected tremolo in my chest, but another feeling accompanying it. A burning feeling, a feeling of...Wanting, wanting more than to just talk to Kaneki and redeem my first impression.

    "Tsukiyama-san, you're sitting...Very close to me..." Kaneki trailed off. The first thing I saw _and smelled_ once I had arrived at Kamii was my angel, Kaneki, so of course I had to sit close to him on the small bench he was sitting on! Kaneki finally set his book down after my multiple attempts at conversation. I looked at the book cover, immediately recognizing the book. It was by Takatsuki-sensei, one of my favorite authors!    

    "Kaneki-kun, you read Takatsuki-san's work?!" I ask excitedly. His eyes widen and he smiles a perfect smile.

    "Ah, yes! You like her as well?" He questioned.

    "Yes, of course! Her work is très bien! Yet it is usually... très triste." Kaneki looked at me seemingly confused. "I mean, her work is very good and very sad."

    "Oh! There's a lot of character death, but... It always gives me this odd feeling of pleasure after reading her work. It's bittersweet. But, yes, I do like her."

    "Ah! That reminds me," I said, moving even closer to him. "There's a café near this university. It's a very nice café as it's usually not very full, the food is decent, and..." I lean towards his face, whispering in his ear. "There are rumors that Takatsuki-san goes there." Kaneki smiles and gasps in surprise. "Would you like to go there with me...?" I ask.

    "Oh, um... On a date?" He asked me, averting his eyes from mine. I scoot even closer to him, setting my hand in his hair, twirling a strand.

    "Yes," I say simply. I rest my hand on his thigh, making circular motions with my thumb.

    "Well... What I... What I want to... The truth is, Tsukiyama-san I'm not..." His cheeks blushed even more, making him so cute that I wanted to bite them. I lean my face near his and settle for a kiss on his cheek. I pulled away and set my head on his shoulder, squeezing his hand. I look down towards the front of his jeans and realize... Could it be? Had I made Kaneki...hard? I blushed furiously, setting my hand on top of the tent he made in his pants. His eyes darted downward and his mouth set open, agape.

   "Ah... How come I'm...?

    "Kaneki-kun, whatever it was.... You can tell me later," I whisper as I take his hand, pulling him off of the bench.

• 

    "Ah! Tsuki-Tsukiyama-san, I'm not sure if I-" Kaneki croaked, gripping the fabric of my shirt and resting his head on my shoulder.

    "You're not sure if you...What?" I asked him, stroking the hard front of his pants. I took a step closer to him, filling the gap between us. "If you want to do this? Because from what I can tell..." I layed wet, soft kisses onto his neck, biting on his skin gently. "You do," I finished, as my hands started tugging at his shirt, trailing up to his nipples. I pull at one of them a little bit, moving towards it. I placed my mouth over it, sucking gently. My other hand trailed down to the zipper of his pants, right above the hard spot. I grabbed the zipper in between my thumb and pointer finger and pulled down, enjoying the small noises of excitement Kaneki was letting out.

    I hummed, pulling his jeans down to his lower thighs and stared in amazement of the rather large tent his erection was making in his boxers. "Kaneki, it's beautiful..." I mused as I put my hand over the hardness, stroking the erection as Kaneki let out a loud noise, different from the earlier ones. I peered up at him, surprised at the fact that his face was flushed a color almost deep red. I rested my hands on the elastic of his boxers for a few moments, still staring at his cock. "Kaneki, to see you this way, I... It's like a dream. I really love you, Ken." I began pulling the elastic down, revealing his dick. I leaned towards it, kissing the tip. I smiled as I wrapped my lips around the tip, slowly moving my head down to the base and coming back up, flicking my tongue out at the tip. I released my lips and let out a laugh. "I was so focused on you, I hadn't even realized I was hard. I suppose I'm just too focused on you, mon ange... " I trail off, watching his precum leak off of him and onto the floor. Kaneki moaned a rather uncomfortable moan.

    "Tsukiyama-san! Please, please... I-I want to come so-so you need to..." Before I know it, I'm laughing again, but I quickly put my hand over my mouth to conceal it. "Kaneki, could it be that you're... Begging me?" I lifted my head to Kaneki's face that grew more and more red every moment.

    "I-I don't... Tsukiyama-san, just please help me cum!" Kaneki said, probably unaware of his increasingly loud voice.

    "Alright, mon ange," I said, taking him back into my mouth and moving my head back and forth more quickly than last time. Once I move my head to the front of his cock, I pull my head forward towards his stomach, taking as much of it in as possible until I'm at the base of his cock and all of my mouth is full.

    "Tsukiyama, I'm going to- I'm gonna come," Kaneki moaned while grabbing my hair. I released my lips around him as I watch him come upward, most of it going on his chest, but some on the wall and also some reaching his chin. I smile as I start unbuttoning my own pants and pull the zipper down. He leaned against the wall and let himself drag down until he's sitting on the floor with me.

    "Um, Tsukiyama-san, you helped me, so...I can help you," he said softly, moving his hand towards my still-hard cock. He pushed on my chest so that I laid down, him on top of my legs, straddling me. He set his pointer finger over the tip of my dick, spreading around precum, wrapping his fingers around me, and moving his hand back and forth a few times. I stayed in the same uncomfortable state, realizing his hands alone weren't going to do it.

    "Kaneki... Inside... Your-your fingers inside of me..." I muttered through gasps. Kaneki gasped.

    "You want me to put my fingers... In your..?" He trailed off.

    "Yes!" I gasped, louder than intended. Kaneki took a deep breath as I felt his pointer finger suddenly prod at my entrance. He pushed it further into my hole, until all of it was inside, and he wiggled it around. I felt another finger at my entrance and suddenly felt like I was on the verge of coming. He pushed the second finger inside, nearing a soft spot that felt very tres bien to say the least. I gasped loudly as I arched my back. Cum suddenly splattered over our chests. Kaneki looked away, the red on his face still there, but beginning to fade. "Um," I began. "This was probably strange... I'm sorry about this..." I shifted nervously, scratching the back of my neck.

    "It was a little strange," Kaneki admitted. "But it, um. It wasn't bad," He said, a smile appearing on his face. "And...And, what kept trying to tell you earlier is- I'm not... I don't like... Men," Kaneki turned towards me and looked into my eyes. I widened my eyes and sighed.

    "That's what I thought, but ever since I saw you, I..." I took a deep breathe. "I love you, Kaneki. And I'll do whatever it takes to make you love me." Kaneki smiled a shy smile and looked into my eyes as he grabbed my left hand and squeezed it. A few moments passed before he spoke again.

    "Before, you called me 'mon ange.' What does that mean?" He asked me.

    "Oh, that means 'my angel'... Kaneki, I think you really are my angel, I mean... You make me so happy, and look at you. You look exactly like an angel."

    "And how do you know what an angel looks like?"

    "I only know they look exactly like you," I whispered as I leaned towards him, nuzzling our noses together. I suddenly backed away from him, startled by the sudden noise of a door.

    "We also probably shouldn't have done this in the back of the laundry room at Kamii..." Kaneki whispered, quickly pulling up his pastel pink boxers and jeans. He took my hand, pulling me up and peering over a washing machine to the orange haired boy that had opened the door.

    "Ah! Hide!" Kaneki called after the boy... A little too friendly, if I might add.

    "Yo, Kaneki," the basic boy called back. "Who's that behind you?" he pointed an unpolished finger to me. Kaneki suddenly seemed both uncomfortable and embarrassed, shifting away from me nervously.

_What is he nervous about?_

_Could he possibly have feelings for this....très hideuse boy?_

    "His name is Tsukiyama. He's my...um..."

_What's he going to say?_

_Friend?_

_No, that'll break my heart if I hear that, it'll tear into pieces._

I quickly stepped in front of Kaneki throwing my hands into the air and grinning widely.

    "I'm Kaneki's boyfriend!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these flavors and I chose lemon

**Author's Note:**

> Yo this is dumb but I had so many fanfic ideas I just couldnt stop myself hoyhoy


End file.
